There’s a moment I’ve seen in almost every workshop I’ve run with young people. I ask the room a simple question: “What are your top three values?”
And I watch what happens.
A few people write immediately. Most of the room goes quiet. Some start writing, stop, look up at the ceiling, then put the pen down. And what I see on a lot of faces isn’t really confusion. It’s something closer to embarrassment. Like they should already know this. Like they’ve been missing something they should’ve found by now.
Man, if I’m being real with you, that moment never gets easier to watch.
But here’s what I want you to know. If you’re one of those people who went quiet, that’s not a failure. That’s information. It’s telling you something important about where your work starts.
Nobody Taught You to Go There
Most young people can’t name their values. Not because they don’t have them. They do. But they’ve never been asked to look at them directly, put language to them, and stand behind that language.
The world has been moving fast around them — school, social media, pressure from home, pressure from peers, pressure to have a plan, pressure to have the right plan — and somewhere in all of that movement, there hasn’t been a moment to stop and ask: what actually matters to me?
I’m not talking about a worksheet. I’ve seen plenty of those. I’m talking about the real question underneath the exercise: Who are you when nobody’s watching? What would you refuse to compromise, even when it costs you something?
Those are harder questions. They take time to sit with. And a lot of young people have never had an adult in the room who believed the question was worth asking in the first place.
That’s the gap. And the 6 Circles to Purpose starts from that gap on purpose.
Values Aren’t Decorative
Here’s where I want to be direct with you. Values aren’t something you put on a vision board and forget about. They are the operating system of your decisions. Every choice you make, especially under pressure, gets run through something. The question is whether that “something” is actually yours, or whether it’s just the loudest voice around you telling you what it should be.
When a young person doesn’t know their values, they borrow someone else’s. You know what I’m saying? They make decisions based on what their crew thinks, what gets them the most attention online, what keeps the peace at home, what feels easiest in the moment. That’s not leadership.
That is drift.
I’m gonna say that again because I know somebody read it but missed it. That is not leadership. That is drift. And a lot of young people are drifting right now — not because they’re irresponsible or don’t care, but because nobody gave them the map.
The 6 Circles to Purpose is designed to give them the map.
The Real Work Is the Inner Work
I’ll be honest with you here. The hardest part of this program isn’t the assignments. It’s the silence. It’s asking a 17-year-old to sit with the question “What do I stand for?” and not filling the quiet for them.
Because the minute you fill it, you’ve taken the answer from them. And they need to find it themselves.
I’ve run this work with hundreds of young people over the years. I’ve been in gyms, classrooms, rec centers, church basements, juvenile facilities. What I’ve learned is that when a young person finally lands on a value that is actually theirs — not a value they think you want to hear, not one their parent pushed on them, but one that came from inside — you can see it. Their posture changes. Something settles.
They might not have the perfect word for it yet. But they have the feeling. And the feeling is what you build from.
Purpose-driven leadership doesn’t start with a title or a position or even a vision statement. It starts right here. In the knowing.
What You Can Do Right Now
If you work with young people, here’s something practical I want to leave you with. The next time you’re in the room, don’t just ask them what they want to do with their lives. Ask them what they’d fight for. Ask them what makes them angry. Ask them what they’d do if they knew nobody was watching and there was no reward waiting on the other side.
Those answers are the beginning of a real values conversation. And that conversation is where everything else starts.
For the young person reading this, here’s what I want you to hear. You don’t have to have everything figured out. That’s not what this is. What this is about is starting to get honest with yourself. That first step — deciding to look at who you actually are, rather than who you think you’re supposed to be — is one of the most courageous things you can do at any age.
The reality is, you can’t lead from a place you don’t know. You can only lead from where you’ve actually been. So do the work to know yourself first. Everything else follows from there.
I challenge all of you to start there. Not with the vision. Not with the goals. With yourself. That’s where purpose is found.
Explore the 6 Circles to Purpose Leadership Training and bring this kind of work to your school, organization, or community.
JustINSPIRE Mentoring is a mentoring-based organization focused on helping youth, emerging leaders, and communities grow with clarity, confidence, discipline, purpose, and expression. Learn more at justinspirementoring.online
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